envy.....

you hunger for the friendships that you witness around you, but your personality prevents it. you really only feel comfortable around the people you already know, and that's who you're truly yourself around, and you have this mental block that prevents you from being that person around other people, and no matter how hard you try, when you do try, you just can't think, and it just doesn't feel the same. and even if others approach you in a friendly way, it catches you off guard and you start to feel awkward, and in turn they start to think you're awkward, and after a while, you're "that kid", and everyday, it hurts.